You come home as you have hundreds of time, but this time it hits you: You have a home, a job, and friends. Your basic needs are handled. You are surviving… so what’s wrong?
Your life is not the way you planned it.
The joy, passion, and hope eroded. Left with the shell of a life, empty of the substance that gives it meaning you feel stuck. You recall the forgotten dreams you had, the ones you shared with your old friends. The dreams of what your life would become.
You are not broken. It is not written in stone.
You have reached a plateau. Everything you learned and did brought you to this place… you made it. Now it’s time to make something else, something that serves a deeper part of you.
You’re smart; you know if you want a different outcome, you and your actions need to change. Not knowing how to make this shift is not your fault. You were not given the skills to create that remarkable life. Yet.
How to find and live your purpose with passion, how to create that relationship with your dream partner, and how to contribute your unique gifts is much easier when you have experienced guidance. When you have another man watching your back as he supports you in crafting what you want, life goes from constant struggle to excited anticipation.
Sure, you still have your bad days, yet when you possess a deep connection to YOUR purpose and passion, you are not alone. You also have the skills to get out of a hole – the skills to create what you REALLY want.
At the end of the day, do you feel alone?
There is some comfort in acceptance of your fate. You could surrender to whatever happens. The immediate anxiety of creating change might lessen. Yet, you know some day you will wake up and feel more angst for wasting more time.
You may fail.
However, you took action. Some part of you knows that even if the action you took wasn’t the perfect step to take, it got you off your ass. The next action is easier…
Beyond the quick fix of:
The intellectual understanding on why your life isn’t what you want
Just being held accountable
Some arbitrary model of how you should be
Virtually all men have a resistance to ‘emotions.’ Women tell us we have it wrong... they often tell us how to get it right. We try, and it still doesn’t work. Both women and men assume it’s the man. It’s not. It’s the emotional training men received.
As men, our mothers raised us. Our emotional education continued with our friends, then moved on to our girlfriends. All this occurring in a culture that for hundreds of years had mothers home raising the kids, as the fathers were at work and not around to model masculine emotions.
We all grew to assume that men’s emotions are the same as women’s. Sure, we are more alike than different. Yet the ways we are dissimilar significantly influence a relationship. Men can only learn genuine masculine emotional presence from other men. When he does, women are naturally attracted to him. Relationships shift from a constant struggle to a dance of romance.
Relationships that work
Discovering how to develop a fulfilling relationship involves activating skills buried within you. Relating to a woman in a way that naturally draws both of you closer, in ways that are fun and easy will become natural.
Exchanging of all those ‘techniques’ that tell you how to behave for the skill of being with another person will transform your life. You will have a skill set few men possess and a relationship you thought unattainable.
You can learn from books, from your mistakes, from others who don’t have a life – or you can learn from men who for decades did whatever they needed to succeed as their own man. These men made every imaginable mistake.
Frustrated with the standard approach, they built a program that encourages men to identify and create the life they want, not mimic society. They constructed a set of principles and skills that allow a man to sculpture his own remarkable life. Yes, it will take work. Our Mentoring Men approach is not a quick fix approach--deep change takes deep work.
MMP’s and our première online course, Emotional Superman, is built on a distilled system that moves men through change quickly. We discovered from working with over a thousand men that there is a powerful way to carve out the change you want. If we are to get you to a place where you don’t need us, we need you to build a solid foundation. No one else is using this system to help men shift their relationships or create a life that works.
Worried about bills rather than excited about work?
You don’t need to do it alone. Seeking qualified assistance takes courage.
Letting others ‘give you advice’ has its limitations. Given a suggestion that solves your current dilemma may sound good, but it rarely addresses the underlying issue.
Do what successful men do; admit to what they don’t know and find the support they need. You want a life and relationships that give you energy—find others who out in front creating their own success.
Give up the models that don’t work. Try on ones that might. Keep what works.
Did a woman ever say that to you?
A struggling relationship is a catalyst for many men. We want to succeed even to the point of attempting to relate emotionally the way our partners suggest. The benefits of just learning to be sensitive is short lived. Either we sabotage the relationship or we give up it because it doesn’t work for us.
After trying what feels like all our options, we look for something out of the box. We look at asking men who walked this road ahead of us.
Using the Mentoring Men Program you discover new orientations and skills that shift from repelling what you want to attracting what you want. You start thriving at work and home. Men respect you. Women are attracted to you.
Your dates or your partner now have something to be attracted to—they have you. Your deeper communications leads to intimacy that naturally brings the best sex you ever had.
Is the life you created not the life you want?
Shift your foundation
Who you are as a man determines how you succeed in business, relationships, and life; when change occurs on this deep level all else shifts.
There are amazing books, programs, and teachers that will teach you powerful techniques. We use many of them for others and ourselves. Yet when our foundation as a man is weak, the impact of these offerings was weak. Every week we see in our groups when a man shifts into standing up as his own man, the need for much of the other work magically disappears.
In my clinic years ago, I realized that the cause of the problem rarely existed where the symptom manifested. If we were to help the client heal, we had to address the underlying cause(s).
We don’t realize that much of our angst comes from the stress and trauma of our childhood and cultural imprinting. These two restraints are address in your Mentoring Men Program.
Few boys or men had a mentor or role model to guide him.
At Free to Win we break the old model of being a man. We start with the assumption that you aren’t—bad, broken, or doomed. It’s just you didn’t get the models or teachings that would guide you to succeed as your own man.
Our programs and courses come from thousands of hours of working with all kinds of men in numerous situations. Each man is unique with unique needs, we are able to adapt our principles and skills to so each man can win.
We stepped out of the outmoded model of masculinity to create a success model. Being a man is not a pathology. Our approach is not the latest pop psychology or self-help theory. Nor is it some dead academic hypothesis of what a man should be. Our programs come from field-testing that began with ourselves. Then went on to working with hundreds of men.
The Mentoring Men Program is not mothering. We love our mothers, but they aren’t men. As men we often need a masculine push, then the compassion of a sincere honoring for the risk we took.
We outgrow a need for mothering when we leave home.
We don’t believe in the boot-camp approach to men’s work. Deprivation and confrontation does work and has a place. We found those changes can be short lived. For some men, this approach can create more stress and trauma than releases.
It’s not about beating it out of you. It’s about assisting you to evoke out your greatness. We know it’s in you. The art of our work is how to help you most effectively manifest it.
Develop emotional strength
It’s not an oxymoron. As men, we can be strong, vulnerable and emotionally. We can be emotional elite athletes.
After a lifetime of being out of emotional shape, it does take some work and possibly a little sweat to get into shape. Yet after a while, like workouts and your emotional interaction start being fun. You realize how to roll with the punches and how to get up when knocked down.
You learn that getting slammed around can be just part of playing full out. The joy of playing full out exceeds the concern about any possible injuries. Injury prevention, recovery, and resiliency naturally increase as you increase your emotional strength.
You might think, why Owen? What can this guy can teach me?
That’s a good question. I often ask myself that. What does 40 years of living change give me? It might speak to how desperate I was when I started at 22.
Well, it certainly shows me that I’m one determined man. I’ve invested over $150,000 in personal and professional development that form the foundation of my shift from a man whose life sucked to a being a man.
I grew up mastering failure. With my speech impediment, shyness, and learning struggles there was nothing I succeeded at doing. Walking on my hands was easier than speaking to girls. Getting picked on became a regular experience until I learned to fight back in junior high. In high school, I found what I was good at—instigation and juvenile delinquency.
After graduating from college my travels started to show me that no matter where I went, I was still the same person. Every new location brought similar experiences, specifically unsatisfying relationships with women. Ending up in Boulder, CO I dove into all I could to crack open a tight body and mind. Within a year, I began to feel free—something I never felt before. Relationships shifted without any extra effort. Suddenly my purpose showed up bringing a deep passion.
Moving to Phoenix, AZ to start a holistic medical clinic, I finished graduate school. In a speed-reading course at the school, I learned I was dyslexic. Immediately I set out to heal it. Using out of the box techniques, I saw quick improvements. When I realized I had Asperger’s Syndrome, I understood the root of so many of my problems. I then added it to the list of things to heal.
Turning the corner on my mental challenges, I realized I never felt like a man. Figuring if I could heal much of my mental issues, I could learn how to be a man. I realized what was missing in my life was close relationships with men so I helped start a series of free men’s groups in Arizona, California, and then Idaho. Sometime in the 22 years of working with men, I felt able to say I’m a man.
I also learned that I might be one of the few men who had mental challenges, yet I was like every other man I met. We weren’t winning as our own man.
One of the gifts of dyslexia is finding unique solutions to common problems. The work I developed around men built on all the work of many great men, wove in all my training in somatic psychology, ancient traditions, postgraduate psychotherapy training, business, and couples therapy.
The success of my latest men’s group, the Sandpoint Men’s Group far exceeded what I envisioned when I invited 11 men in 2005. After over 200 men participating in our what is now four groups, a documentary film on the group, a book, success with our Free to Win Two Day Experience trainings, the online course Emotional Superman, and the growth of our model of working with men I now know what we offer works.
A fifteen years ago, I was a lead trainer for an 18 month, 500 hour in person coaching program. I resisted coaching until I saw how when approached from a deep level huge change is possible. That program and my coaching is part of my inspiration to create the Mentoring Men Program.
I’ve worked with the full range of men; from young men starting out to men who exceeded their goals of professional success. Some were professional athletes; others were college deans and CEOs. All shared a desire to uplevel their lives or relationships.
It would be an honor to work with you in creating that remarkable life you want.
I was born in Southern California and raised in the Mountain Ski Resort towns of Aspen Colorado and Whitefish Montana, and I have a deep love of the ocean and mountains. A graduate of the University of Denver Business School, I migrated to the Seattle area after college. Now, at 51 years old, I live in the Mountain Resort Town of Sandpoint Idaho while also living part of the spring season on the island of Maui. My family defines my in many ways and includes my wife Maria, 18 year old son Cole, and his 15 year old son Reid. With three active labs and two horses, the family household is busy. Maria and I pride ourselves on being an Aunt and Uncle to so many of our boy’s friends that our house is always a safe place for growing kids, and our grocery bills validate this conviction. Offering safety to those that need it is a passion I have, it is also very simple to offer.
I have been involved with the Sandpoint Mens Group since 2008. This journey has led to other related paths over the years including trainings through The Garden Company, The Mankind Project, and The Four Winds Society. I am also one of ten men featured in the new film “About Men” that documents a man’s journey in a formal “Men’s Group”. “Sitting in a Men’s Circle has enhanced my life in a variety of ways, I am more open and aware of my emotional state, I take more vulnerable risks in my life, and I have a powerful sense of belonging”. My passion for what a Men’s Circle experience can do for men has motivated me to facilitate men’s workshops. Over the past two years I have facilitated workshops with Owen Marcus and Chris Blair. “The experience I receive in Men’s Circle cannot be taught and is even difficult to explain…it is a powerfully unique environment that has to be experienced”. From healing to creation, the journey of sitting in circle provides men the safety and freedom to develop a new relationship with their emotional states and to build a new level of personal awareness to take into the world. I hold a foundational truth that, as men, we are reframing the definition of what it is to be a man in today’s world. “This is actually part of our personal, and collective, evolutionary process and we need the support of others to grow into who we really are”.
My new place of service and creation today is continuing my journey in facilitating group trainings while also working closely with specific clients on a dynamic one on one basis. In this creation, or vision, “I see a more connected world. I see men showing up in new masculine ways and being honored for their vulnerability. I see men modeling what it is to be accountable, loving, and in integrity for their children. I see men holding space for women allowing them to safely fall deeper into their own feminine. I see men awake and alive, mindful of their purpose and responsibility on this planet at this time.”
Being “of service” to other men in this way is a part of my purpose and responsibility. “I deeply honor those that step on their own true path and accept the purpose that they were born with. I continue to learn so much from you. Thank you, thank you.”
See what men have to say:
Charles P.W. Newell, Artistic Director, Court Theatre at University of Chicago
From surviving to winning...
"I have been married for 25 years and there were times I thought there was no way this relationship would survive. Not only has it survived it’s the best it has ever been."
"Owen’s gift is his ability to take a man deep. He took me to a place where I externally expressed what had been up to that point an inward struggle. I also witnessed Owen hold space for others who similarly emerged as new men. Owen is a phenomenally talented leader of men and I would recommend him to all the men in my life.
We'll use filler text for the rest of the testimonials on this template."
Yes, we have mentored women, here what one has to say...
"Although Owen immediately resonated with me, I had no idea the profound effect he would have on my life. Within three sessions, he gave me something I could not have anticipated…. renewed passion, love, and connection to my husband of ten years. I feel he not only coached me, but through his masterful guidance of the primal and culturally learned dance between the masculine/feminine balance in the home, his teachings literally ignited my husband into waking up and opening to his own power and purpose.
Somewhere along the way we fell asleep in this marriage, but suddenly we find ourselves once again wide awake. Our communication, our sex life, our individuality as well has our togetherness have all deepened into something more beautiful than perhaps we’ve ever had. My husband and I are both filled with gratitude and humbled by the expertise of Owen Marcus."
Build on what you’ve created… use the Mentoring Men Program to do more than coach you. Have it be your guide into creating that great life you dreamt of having. That life where you wake up excited about what you are doing that day. That life where you come home to true friends and a partner or women you are dating that get you.
Walk into a room feeling as if you belong
Know that whatever happens, you will be OK. Seek out experiences that stretch you because it’s fun.
Invest in your most precious investment—your life as your own man. Join other men who benefited from Free to Win.
Be free to win… start winning today.
My success was due to good luck, hard work, and support and advice from friends and mentors. But most importantly, it depended on me to keep trying after I had failed.
Senator Mark Warner
The ancient Greeks developed mentoring; we upgraded it to give men what is missing.
P.S.: We developed the program we wished we had and the program for men who never had the mentors they needed. Use us.. we take great joy in seeing you succeed in ways you thought impossible.