A few of our clients speak about their experiences:
A graduate of a Two Day Men's group:
Since I can’t be there for the next few weeks I wanted to share something with you.
First, that was an amazing experience this weekend. This was the first time I had been a part of any Men’s Group. I actually went from being skeptical to being extremely connected and amazed. Historically, that hasn’t happened very often for me.
I was very curious how and if the energy from that weekend would go with me. How long would I feel it? Well, yesterday morning I had to have an e-mail interchange with a guy that is my customer. A pretty good guy. As I was typing the e-mail to him I was overcome by this deep and strong feeling of “Manly Love” for this guy. It was amazing. That honest and real love energy was developed so beautifully with you guys. And it is still inside me. It is such a new and beautiful feeling. Thank you so much. No shit. (That one’s for you, Mark!)
I was on the plane yesterday flying from Salt Lake City to Atlanta. I love music very much, and I was listening to my iTunes. That iPod has about 3000 songs on it, and it is pretty common for me to be very familiar with an instrumental piece of music, but not aware of the actual title of it. I was listening to a very beautiful and familiar song, and I had some sort of unconscious reaction. It just “happened”. I do not remember if it was positive or negative or what. But I had a distinct impulse to look at the iPod and see what the name of the song was. It is performed by some old Jazz guys named Grant Green, Bernard Purdie, and Reuben Wilson. The song’s Name was “My Father’s Song”. I saw that, and started crying so uncontrollably hard that I was actually howling. I have never cried so hard for so long in my life, I think. Unbelievable. Or better yet, I guess it’s totally believable.
I think that I mentioned that the journeys taken by other men were very personal to me. I felt very moved and connected to their stories. But I thought they were different from my situation, because their fathers actually personally told them that they were “not good enough” in a direct and mean way. It seemed so much worse than my situation. But I felt it very personally when they were on their journeys. And my meltdown when I saw “My Father’s Song” shows me very clearly that I have been holding on to the pain of my father trying to kill himself when I was 8. I never really saw much of him after that, and I guess that as a child I took his action to mean that I was not worth staying alive for. And it is still a very intense emotion. I had no idea that was inside me.
Wow. Another amazing experience that happened because I spent those two days with you guys. Absolutely amazing. I miss you guys and can’t wait to be with you again as part of an ongoing group. Thank you so much for that experience. We’ll talk soon!
With “Manly Love” (no shit),
Another man's experience:
Owen Marcus’ name came up for two years before I did anything to contact him.
I called him finally and asked if there was an intro to the men’s work, yes there was. I called my 18 year old son Isak and kept an open heart to his saying yes to coming with me to a group meeting, he said yes. We met up and got there on time, our first time together on a dad – son outing with learning involved in too many years.
He was so present among those men and me, the youngest man there – a proud moment for me. (Thank you to his mother and step dad for supporting this.)
After the last snacks and goodbyes we in piled the truck. Heading down the mountain, he says, “That was some heavy stuff dad,” I agreed. I didn’t know what else to say. We learned it was ok to be who we are now, both of us. My heart was lighter than it was in years. We talked about getting together again.
Back at my house, I showed him what I was doing with my time just to keep him close for a while. He was patient with me. As we walked closer to his car I felt the earth move and my longing for him was showing. I felt myself coming apart at the thought of him leaving. He looked up from his driver’s seat at me and asked, “Do you want to hang some more dad?” All I could do was nod.
He turned off the car and we embraced like long lost father and son, because we were. Our hearts met in this dear space we had just found. This was the biggest personal success I had in a long time with this son. Now we are even closer, even though I don’t see him enough, he knows.
My most sincere heartfelt thanks to you Owen, your tribe of Warrior-Poet-Facilitators, and every man there. Bless you and yours.
Walter Burnham Jr. – Business owner